Nyuk. Nyuk. Why Men Love the Three Stooges: A Guide for Women

Scroll down to see movie. Here is my absolute #1 favorite Stooge moment. It's about 2 1/2 minutes... into the short.

I feel like a traitor.  It's like giving away the Skull and Bones Oath.  Or the Mason's secret handshake.  It's perhaps the last bastion of male bonding.   Most women don't understand why men like The Three Stooges.  Well, I have broken ranks with my bretheren and will reveal the Stooge Code.

Let's start with some history.   

There is the original 3 Stooges and most men will only accept the original three.  It's like The Four Tops, if only Three Tops show up, it isn't a show. They were commonly known by their first names: Moe, Larry, & Curly.  Moe was the bowl haircut, angry alpha Stooge.  Larry sported the Art Garfunkle look with spreading baldness in the middle.  Curly was the chubby one who usually got the most laughs.  (After Curly died Moe's brother Shemp (Samuel Horwitz) filled in.  After Shemp, there was Joe Besser and Joe "Curly Joe DeRita.)   

 Okay, I am ready to open the Codex.   Is there nothing funnier than a pipe wrench to the noggin?   A blowtorch to the backside?  A slap to the face?  Soitainly not!  Here's why.  Most men are hard wired to enjoy the guilty pleasure of watching other men fail. (Now "fail" isn't exactly the right word -- it's to unsucceed  temporarily especially in front of other people.  Most men don't need to be the best, but they hate being the worst.

Here's the key. The Stooges had no girlfriends.  They had no steady employment.  Their clothes didn't quite fit right.  They were fired from nearly every job they had.  And they were inept in virtually every endeavor from house maintenance to salesmen.  So basically, the average guy is going to love these guys.  No matter how bad a man's life is, the Stooges are always there to elevate and stroke the ego.  Like a caffeine high, there's the huge tip.  So we constantly need reinforcement.  This explains the joyful appeal of Newman or Constanza on Seinfield. 

That's it.  Man watches other man slip on the banana.  Makes an effort at appearing sympathetic.  Then, the rest of the day is filled with the joyful spirit of knowing you're one level up from the average Joe.  Here's some common Stooge talk

• "Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!" (Curly laughing)
• "Why I oughta..." (Moe)
• "What's the big idea?" (Larry)
• "Eeeb-eeeb-eeeb-eeeb!" (Shemp)
• "Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo!" (Curly)
• "I'm sorry Moe, it was an accident." (Larry)
• "I'll murderize ya!" (Moe)
• "Remind me to kill you later." (Moe)
• "Wise guy, eh?" (Moe)
• "Not so ha-a-a-ard." (Joe)
• "Soitenly!" (certainly) (Curly)
• "I resemble that remark!" (Curly)
• "I'm a victim of soicumstance!" (circumstance) (Curly)
• "Spread out!" (Moe, to the others)
• "Yauauaua!" (Curly)
• "La-leee, la-la..." (Curly, humming)
• "Rrrowf! Rrrowf!" (Curly) (when angry or defiant)
  • Other attempt: (Ruff! Ruff!)
• "Whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop!" (Curly, when frightened or agitated, shouts this accelerated version of "woo-woo." He sometimes runs around or away when saying this and variations exist.)
• "N'yaaah-ah-ah!" (Curly) (when he realizes he's looking at something that scares him, and just before running away from it.) (Sometimes he uses it to cut off what he WAS saying.)
• "Yaadadeeee, Yaadeda" (Curly, high pitch singing. Usually while concentrating on something such as cooking.) (
• Moe: "Wash that ham." (or anything Moe orders his underlings to do; he's the boss). Curly, defiantly: "I'll do it when I'm ready." Moe, menacingly: "Are you ready?" Curly, sheepishly: "Yeah, I'm ready."
• Larry: "I can't see, I can't see!" Others: "Whatsamatta?" Larry: "I had my eyes closed."
• Curly: "Hey fellas, I can't hear anything!" Others: "Why not?" Curly: "'Cuz I ain't listenin'."
• Curly: "Are you casting asparagus on my cooking?" (aspersions)
• Curly: "I hear footprints"
• Moe: "Get another piece of pipe." (or anything else Moe says) Curly: "I resent that!" Moe menacingly: "What are you going to do about it?" Curly: "Get another piece of pipe."
• "Better watch your Ps and Qs." (Moe)
• "Moe (to Larry): "Get me more paint!" Larry: "Ask me nice!" (Moe then smacks him numerous times with the brush in his hand) Larry: "That's nice enough."