Condemned Cuisine

Place this in the category of the macabre.  I have always had a morbid fascination with the concept of the last meal.  Basically, you commit a heinous crime,  get a death sentence and then you get a wonderful perk -- a final gastronomical choice.  Typically, the condemned chooses something  rather mundane, like a T-Bone and  and coffee.  If it were me, I would request that Juan Valdez and his donkey deliver the beans and grind them personally.

A few years ago, I ate a meal so incredibly delicious, I asked to meet the chef.  I told him that if I ever was on death row, I would request his Avalon salad -- a Caesar salad with pan-seared scallops and shitake mushrooms.  He told me to keep in touch.

Now  in the parlance of Green Mile inmates, "this meal was to die for. " Since obsession begets education, I discovered a few myths about the infamous final meal. 

Most states give the meal a day or two prior to execution, and use the the term "special meal".  Some states place tight restrictions: all food must come from within the prison system. That's ike having your high school cafeteria cater your wedding. Maryland doesn't offer a last meal, so if you're going to commit a crime, please move to another state.

Here are some famous last meals.  GARY GILMORE, UTAH, 1977.   Hamburger, eggs, potatoes and contraband bourbon.  THOMAS GRASSO, OKLAHOMA, 1995-- The signature meal in "Last Suppers". Mr. Grasso devoured a dozen steamed mussels, a Burger King double cheeseburger with mustard, mayonnaise, lettuce and tomato, a can of Franco-American spaghetti with meatballs, a mango, half of a pumpkin pie with whipped cream, and a strawberry milkshake. But, there was a problem. Mr. Grasso had been served spaghetti and meatballs, but had actually requested Spaghetti-O's. He did not take this slight lightly, his last words included this complaint, "I did not get my Spaghetti-O's. I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this!"  TED BUNDY, FLORIDA, 1989. Mr. Bundy didn't eat a special last meal. His dinner the night before was a burrito and Mexican rice.

I have a way to improve the entire situation -- the warden must eat whatever the prisoner eats.  Better yet, they should eat together.

Well, in case of extreme emergency, I have been making notes for my own last meal.  I'm going to start with two lobster rolls from the dock in South Freeport Maine.  It's the lobster equivalent of the holy grail.  Then, I am going with the baked haddock at Kennedy's in Marlboro, Mass.  I once drove 9 hours to have this haddock. Then, I am going to have a medium rare filet from Ruth Chris and a side of their Matterhorn-sized mashed potatoes.  And for dessert, hot Indian pudding with vanilla ice cream from Cook's Restaurant on Bailey Island Maine.  And, of course, the Avalon Salad from the Bay Point Inn in Quincy, Massachusetts. 

 Or a bowl of Captain Crunch.  I am open to suggestions.  Please enter your favorite imagined last meal in the comment section.  Bon Appetite.

 
P.S. There's actually a web site dedicated to famous last meals: http://www.deadmaneating.com