BakerMuse Live From New York City

Here I am sitting at one of seven tables at Murray's Bagels on 8th Avenue. The table is the size of paperback book. My massive Murray bagel dwarfs the table top. It could feed a small country. And frankly, I'm beginning to look like one.

Well, I've only been in the big Apple for a few hours and already I have enough material for 50 BakerMuse excursions. Shall I begin with the synchronized homeless team or the jay walking priest? Or perhaps the rickshaw/motorcycle delivery guy who specializes only in cheese?

Okay, let's start with the Padre. I see him coming from a block away, dressed in layers of white. He looked like the Pope with out the hat a large silver crucifix dangling in this sea of white. The crosswalk sign turns to "Don't Walk" I begin to wonder, will this representative of the Holy See follow earthly mandates. Of course, not. He briskly walks against traffic and a group of us applaud. Apparently, he was late for confession.

An hour earlier, I saw a gaggle of homeless men, each pushing their own shopping carts. The older and obviously more experienced guy barked orders to the other two -- making sure they did an adequate re con of the available trash bins. Oddly enough, every trash bin is festooned with a warning sticker that reads "No Littering $100 Fine."

A little later I'm walking near the "Comfort Diner." Above the diner is a well-appointed apartment with enormous plate glass windows. I was romancing the idea of writing a bad novel in one of these swanky garrets with polished wood floors and limited edition lithographs of some obscure artist when a portly man parades in front of this tableau naked as a jay bird.

Like a bad accident, I couldn't avert my eyes. He (I hope it was a he ) looked like a cross between Golda Meir and Fritz Mondale. Dangerfield.I'm already having war zone flashbacks and post-traumatic syndrome. I wash away the trauma with a latte.

Then, there's the Cheese Guy -- operating what looked a vehicle more at home in the teeming streets of Hong Kong. "Same Day Cheese Delivery" is the decal on his contraption. So if you're in Manhattan and have a Shemp-like craving for cheese, you have the source. Thanks to my trusty camera phone, here's proof.

I suddenly have a craving for some Gouda and a curious desire to remove my clothes.

Marty

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