The Foxworthy Factor. The Jerky Boy

Two recent events rocked my rather miniscule world.  I walked  into my local Wal Mart to pick up my weekly Smiley Face sticker, when I saw a large poster of  country singer Tim McGraw.  This wasn't for an album, it was "McGraw" -- his new fragrance.  Dr. Phil is going to be upset he missed this open window of opportunity,  Apparently, there are hordes of men out there just waiting for a cologne that smells faintly like a cowboy hat and the sweaty dome of a balding head.  

While I was still reeling from this olfactory surprise, I saw a package of Jeff Foxworthy Brand Beef Jerky.  The jerky industry needs a boost and it appears as if Jeff is their man.  I mean, who isn't looking for another sodium infused leather-meets-beef carcass snack?  The big marketing ploy is "Big Tender Taste."   I am happy because I wouldn't want to walk to the Winn Dixie for a "Small Tender Taste."   The runner up slogan was "Let Foxworthy Melt in Your Mouth."  Some consumers presumably had issues with this.

Well, if celebrity-branded items are the royal road to marketing riches, I want to pitch some ideas. 

The Spears' Sisters Home Pregancy Test.  Brittany and Jamie Lynn are prominently featured on the packaging with the tag line :"Opps I did it again."

Larry King's How to Create Your Own Exoskeleton. Kit comes complete with red suspenders. Is it me or is Larry beginning to look a bit like a cast member of Alien vs Predator 4?


Bill Clinton's Quick Tanning Method.  Bill reveals his fashion-forward tanning method -- it involves placing your face under a McDonald's heating lamp. You not only turn a nice shade of blush red but you get to smell the sweet nectar of a double cheeseburger.