Great hotels. Bad postcards.

During my college years, I worked as a desk clerk for Holiday Inn. I had a green badge declaring my high posiition and perfected the smile of an innkeeper. One of my jobs was to hoist the 10-lb letters on what was then called "The Great Sign."  My biggest problem was not having enough letters to put on the sign. So, what should have been Happy Anniversary Mildred and Larry was “Kudos to the Kouple.”

The only remnants of that experience is a vintage Holiday Inn letter “M” which was also "W" and if tape was applied could stand in as a "Z" and  my collection of curious hotel postcards.  Now a  lesser rag than BakerMuse would probably pick on mom and pop motel postcards with a wagon wheel or bagpipe motif, but our stalwart staff is willing to take on the 5-star bigwigs.

Like the this famous Swiss hotel.  Apparently the Schweizerhof is still in business.  I don’t know why. This bell hop looks like he wants to make sure my papers are in order.  You can almost feel his heels clicking together as I am escorted to an interrogation room. 

Notice the lack of eye contact.  The well-oiled brim. This guy looks like he’s on the payroll of Ernst Stavro Blofeld, the James Bond super villain and official lap for white Persian cats.

What is even more frightening is that this postcard is over 60 years old but they still proudly use the image on the hotel web site.  

Here’s one for the Repulse Bay Hotel in Hong Kong. It’s not exactly a badge of distinction to tell people, “I’m staying at the Repulsive.” It may be the only hotel where nobody steals the towels. In fact, the guests pilfer towels from other hotels to bring back to the Repulse so they won't be mocked at while drying off at pool side.

I am pleased they added China after Hong Hong. Otherwide we would have mixed it up with Hong Kong in New Jersey.

According to hotel lure, Major C.G.R. Ringer didn’t want to give up one of his initials, so instead he gave Nairobi a grand hotel in 1904 as a Christmas present.

Sadly, what Nairobi really wanted for the holidays was a central government, clean running water and a "Slanket" or two.

The postcard has an angry lion, a rogue elephant and a surly, fez-wearing bartender. What's missing from the graphic is a large machete. Hey, what’s not to love.

My one problem. If I am going to get my shots and travel all the way to Nairobi, I don't want to stay at a hotel that has the same name as my previous residence in Virginia.  

Now, if you have a bad hotel postcard that you want to share, shoot a jpeg to inotivity@gmail.com.  If it's bad enough, you'll get credit and a chance to win a trip to that very hotel.  Not a big chance, actually.

Bon Voyage.